August 10, 2007

as a goof

went & saw the ten yesterday...pretty hilarious...i think my favorite segment was "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods"...candace laughed hardest at "thou shalt not take the lord's name in vain" & also at the guy in the theater who kept making a "pffff" noise every time he laughed...while it isn't quite at the level of wet hot american summer (easily one of the funniest movies of the last ten years, especially with the extra farts soundtrack turned on), it was still up to par with most of director david wain's other work...also, make sure you check out david on the michael showalter showalter & tune into a new episode of wainy days every tuesday.
related: michael showalter's "ten commandments of making a great fucking sandwich" (via zimmylovesyou)
1. Bread is king. Bread is to sandwich what song is to band. Bread is to sandwich what shoe is to foot. Bread is to sandwich what love is to life. Bread is king.
2. Mustard goes with everything. If you have two pieces of bread, mustard and anything else, you have a delicious sandwich. If anybody tells you it's the same thing as mayonnaise you can tell that person they are a liar and a fake and a fucking asshole because mustard goes with everything!
3. Nothing is off limits and everything is in play.
4. Toast it. Toast it. Toast the thing. Toast the motherfucking thing.
5. Pickle.
6. Sun dried tomatoes are total bullshit! When I said nothing is off limits and everything was in play I was not referring to sun dried tomatoes because sun dried tomatoes are off limits.
7. What is the missing link? You've made your sandwich, you've taken a bite -no it's rhetorical you fuckin dick. It's for you to decide. You need to be there in the moment. You've made your sandwich, you've taken a bite, something's missing, what is it? Start with mustard! Go down from there. Does it need more mustard? Ask questions of your sandwich. Settle for nothing less than perfect because you have an opportunity with your sandwich to make something that will last forever! No fucking one slice of cheese, one slice of bologna, suck it, fuck it - no! You have an opportunity to make something that will last for an eternity! Find the missing link!
8. (there is no number eight)
9. Have fun. Really, have fun. Have fun making your sandwich. Yeah, have fun! Because if making a sandwich isn't fun, then make something else, because making a sandwich is fucking fun! So if you can't have fun making a sandwich then make something fucking else!
more movie news: the be kind rewind trailer has hit the interweb, with billy preston in the background to boot...superbad, starring leather canary fave michael cera opens next week & bootsy collins & bernie worell worked on the score...according to rolling stone magazine, there'll be lots of cameos in the new john c. reilly vehicle, walk hard, including jewel, jackson browne & ghostface killah all performing a song together...finally, grabbed this tracklist off goldenfiddle for what looks to be an amazing soundtrack to the upcoming bob dylan biopic, i'm not
All Along The Watchtower - Eddie Vedder & The Million Dollar Bashers
As I Went Out One Morning - Mira Billotte
Ballad Of A Thin Man - Stephen Malkmus & The Million Dollar Bashers
Billy - Los Lobos
Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window - The Hold Steady
Can’t Leave Her Behind - Stephen Malkmus & Lee Ranaldo
Cold Irons Bound - Tom Verlaine & The Million Dollar Bashers
Dark Eyes - Iron & Wine & Calexico
Fourth Time Around - Yo La Tengo
Goin’ To Acapulco - Jim James & Calexico
Highway 61 Revisited - Karen O & The Million Dollar Bashers
I Wanna Be Your Lover - Yo La Tengo
I’m Not There - Bob Dylan
I’m Not There - Sonic Youth
Just Like A Woman - Charlotte Gainsbourg & Calexico
Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues - Ramblin’ Jack Elliot
Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door - Antony & The Johnsons
The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll - Mason Jennings
Maggie’s Farm - Stephen Malkmus & The Million Dollar Bashers
Mama You’ve Been On My Mind - Jack Johnson
The Man In The Long Black Coat - Mark Lanegan
Moonshiner - Bob Forrest
One More Cup Of Coffee - Roger McGuinn & Calexico
Pressing On - John Doe
Ring Them Bells - Sufjan Stevens
SeƱor (Tales Of Yankee Power)- Willie Nelson & Calexico
Simple Twist Of Fate - Jeff Tweedy
Stuck Inside Of Mobile With Memphis Blues Again - Cat Power
The Times They Are A Changin’ - Mason Jennings
Tombstone Blues - Richie Havens
When The Ship Comes In - Marcus Carl Franklin
Wicked Messenger - The Black Keys
You Ain’t Goin ‘Nowhere - Glen Hansard & Markta Irglov

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