as a goof

went & saw the ten yesterday...pretty hilarious...i think my favorite segment was "thou shalt not covet thy neighbors goods"...candace laughed hardest at "thou shalt not take the lord's name in vain" & also at the guy in the theater who kept making a "pffff" noise every time he laughed...while it isn't quite at the level of wet hot american summer (easily one of the funniest movies of the last ten years, especially with the extra farts soundtrack turned on), it was still up to par with most of director david wain's other work...also, make sure you check out david on the michael showalter showalter & tune into a new episode of wainy days every tuesday.

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related: michael showalter's "ten commandments of making a great fucking sandwich" (via zimmylovesyou)

1. Bread is king. Bread is to sandwich what song is to band. Bread is to sandwich what shoe is to foot. Bread is to sandwich what love is to life. Bread is king.

2. Mustard goes with everything. If you have two pieces of bread, mustard and anything else, you have a delicious sandwich. If anybody tells you it's the same thing as mayonnaise you can tell that person they are a liar and a fake and a fucking asshole because mustard goes with everything!

3. Nothing is off limits and everything is in play.

4. Toast it. Toast it. Toast the thing. Toast the motherfucking thing.

5. Pickle.

6. Sun dried tomatoes are total bullshit! When I said nothing is off limits and everything was in play I was not referring to sun dried tomatoes because sun dried tomatoes are off limits.

7. What is the missing link? You've made your sandwich, you've taken a bite -no it's rhetorical you fuckin dick. It's for you to decide. You need to be there in the moment. You've made your sandwich, you've taken a bite, something's missing, what is it? Start with mustard! Go down from there. Does it need more mustard? Ask questions of your sandwich. Settle for nothing less than perfect because you have an opportunity with your sandwich to make something that will last forever! No fucking one slice of cheese, one slice of bologna, suck it, fuck it - no! You have an opportunity to make something that will last for an eternity! Find the missing link!

8. (there is no number eight)

9. Have fun. Really, have fun. Have fun making your sandwich. Yeah, have fun! Because if making a sandwich isn't fun, then make something else, because making a sandwich is fucking fun! So if you can't have fun making a sandwich then make something fucking else!

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more movie news: the be kind rewind trailer has hit the interweb, with billy preston in the background to boot...superbad, starring leather canary fave michael cera opens next week & bootsy collins & bernie worell worked on the score...according to rolling stone magazine, there'll be lots of cameos in the new john c. reilly vehicle, walk hard, including jewel, jackson browne & ghostface killah all performing a song together...finally, grabbed this tracklist off goldenfiddle for what looks to be an amazing soundtrack to the upcoming bob dylan biopic, i'm not there...wow.

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All Along The Watchtower - Eddie Vedder & The Million Dollar Bashers

As I Went Out One Morning - Mira Billotte

Ballad Of A Thin Man - Stephen Malkmus & The Million Dollar Bashers

Billy - Los Lobos

Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window - The Hold Steady

Can’t Leave Her Behind - Stephen Malkmus & Lee Ranaldo

Cold Irons Bound - Tom Verlaine & The Million Dollar Bashers

Dark Eyes - Iron & Wine & Calexico

Fourth Time Around - Yo La Tengo

Goin’ To Acapulco - Jim James & Calexico

Highway 61 Revisited - Karen O & The Million Dollar Bashers

I Wanna Be Your Lover - Yo La Tengo

I’m Not There - Bob Dylan

I’m Not There - Sonic Youth

Just Like A Woman - Charlotte Gainsbourg & Calexico

Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues - Ramblin’ Jack Elliot

Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door - Antony & The Johnsons

The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll - Mason Jennings

Maggie’s Farm - Stephen Malkmus & The Million Dollar Bashers

Mama You’ve Been On My Mind - Jack Johnson

The Man In The Long Black Coat - Mark Lanegan

Moonshiner - Bob Forrest

One More Cup Of Coffee - Roger McGuinn & Calexico

Pressing On - John Doe

Ring Them Bells - Sufjan Stevens

Señor (Tales Of Yankee Power)- Willie Nelson & Calexico

Simple Twist Of Fate - Jeff Tweedy

Stuck Inside Of Mobile With Memphis Blues Again - Cat Power

The Times They Are A Changin’ - Mason Jennings

Tombstone Blues - Richie Havens

When The Ship Comes In - Marcus Carl Franklin

Wicked Messenger - The Black Keys

You Ain’t Goin ‘Nowhere - Glen Hansard & Markta Irglov

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download: bob dylan - i'm not there